An absolute thrashing, a brawl, and a whole lot of runs scored; WHAT A FUCKING SERIES. With superb pitching that is all but to be expected of the best starting rotation in Major League Baseball, as well as some glimpses of offensive magic, the Sox kicked off a 10 game home stand with an emphatic series win over the “big” “bad” and “scary” Bronx Bombers. In addition, the brawl in game 2 reignited the bad blood that characterized the Sox-Yankees relationship back in the early 2000s–when baseball was fun—and I for one, am HERE FOR IT. These are two young, talented teams with serious potential, and its going to be an absolute treat watching them duel it out for years to come. Lets get into it. The first game was a god damn spectacle; a 14-1 pounding that seemed more like a scene from Deliverance than it did a baseball game. The banjos were replaced by Sweet Caroline, and the inbreds were replaced by Mookie Betts and the Sox bats. Mookie had himself a NIGHT, going 4-4 and scoring 5 times. The high point of the game for him was when he smoked a grand slam over the Green Monster in the 6th, to cap off a nine run inning for the Sox and officially put the game into bloodbath territory. Hanley Ramirez, Andrew Benintendi, and J.D. Martinez also chipped in with a few RBIs of their own, and the Sox improved to 9-1 for the first time in franchise history. Chris Sale was his usual self, striking out eight and allowing one run through six innings. Two of those strikeouts were by Gian(K)arlo Stanton, who has now whiffed 22 times in the last 46 games. That is, to put it in the most respectful way possible, absolutely fucking terrible. A fantastic showing overall, and a good way to set the tone for the rest of Sox-Yanks this season. The second game was fireworks. It started off with David Price doing usual David Price things and letting up four runs in the first inning before claiming “tingling in his hand” and getting yanked after Gary Sanchez went absolute YABO over the Monster for a two run shot. I could write a novel on all the reasons David Price needs to get the heck out of dodge and leave the Sox to flourish in his absence, but that is for another time. The real story of this game started when Yankees 1st baseman Tyler Austin went spikes up on a slide into second, clearly targeting Brock Holt’s ankle. It’s a scumbag move you would totally expect from a guy with a face as punchable as his. Anyway, that lead to some jawing and the benches clearing, but everything cooled down pretty quickly and the game resumed. All was peachy until the 7th when Joe Kelly sent a 98 MPH fastball right into Austin’s shoulder, to which Austin responded by slamming his bat on the ground to show off his macho man alpha strength (it didn’t even break!!! what an idiot!!!!! what a loser!!!!) and convey his dismay at getting plunked. Apparently little Austin forgot how baseball works, and was for some reason surprised that he was subject to retaliation after he tried to remove Brock Holt’s foot. Anyway, Joe Kelly grinned, beckoned him to the mound, and it was on like Donkey Kong. A small brawl ensued with only Kelly getting any actual punches in, and in the end the two of them as well as Yankees reliever Tommy Kahnle and third base coach Phil Nevin got tossed. The scariest moment of it all was seeing Aaron Judge towering over the skirmish like the kid in 5th grade whose balls dropped a couple years early. Prayers up that he never gets aggressive in one of these little tiffs, cause that would be more of mismatch than when Pedro Martinez manhandled a 900 year old Don Zimmer (RIP) back in the 2003 ALCS (you can watch that video here, because even though he’s dead now, (RIP again) it is still downright hilarious). The brawl ended relatively quickly and the Yankees went on to win 10-7…whatever. The final game was an absolute masterpiece by Rick Porcello, who pitched seven scoreless innings, including a no-hitter through six, en route to his third dub of the year; a great start for a Cy Young Winner who, if we’re being frank, was a hot pile of garbage last year. Hanley Ramirez left the game after getting drilled on the wrist in the 1st, but no benches cleared. Mookie Betts kept being the man, coming in with 2 RBIs, and Benintendi and Mitch Mooreland each chipped in as well. Porcello was the real story of the night, pitching through a rain delay to last until the 7th, which was necessary because the relievers were tired from having to pick up David Price’s finger-tingle slack the day before. It was a great end to the series. I can’t wait for the next go ’round for these teams. The Yankees pitching staff clearly needs to figure out what they’re doing, and its going to be a tough look if the Yanks big catch of the off-season continues to struggle hitting the broad side of a barn with his bat. I’m sure Gian(K)arlo will settle in, and I actually hope he does; the Sox are gonna need some good competition this year and the team the Yanks put out this series was anything but that. THE RIVALRY IS BACK ON.